An emotional roller coaster
After touring the combat hospitals of Iraq with Robert Bazell, cameraman Craig White, and soundperson Susan Becerra, I don’t think I’m speaking out of turn to say that none us have ever before seen the amount of severe trauma we witnessed in our two week trip. Since returning back, the lasting impression for me is the somewhat surprising roller coaster of emotions felt on a daily basis. I’m not talking about the simple up and down reactions to each day’s event, but a rather more forceful pulling and tearing of emotions to levels of extreme highs and extreme lows.
Two images have been seared into my mind:
The first is a beautiful little Iraqi girl who was rushed into the Baghdad emergency room our first few days into the tour. Robert will feature her in his story on Wednesday. The victim of a mortar attack, she looked like a rag doll, carried into the hospital with a mangled leg hanging off. Her face was eerily devoid of any emotion at all.
The little girl appeared to have very little chance of surviving, and though the hospital sprang into action, a feeling of gloom descended upon almost everyone. We followed her to the operating room, and watched as doctors amputated her left leg. Hours later it become clear that the girl was going to survive. More and more hospital workers turned up to check on her condition. Grim faces in the hallways began looking hopeful. Later, a feeling of collective giddiness took hold of the ward. A tiny life was being saved. It’s difficult to describe the precise moment when feelings of despair and bleakness morph into something close to euphoria.
The following day I was called down from a rooftop camera position by Maj. William White, head nurse of the Baghdad ER. Usually a Zen-like force of calm and stability, he appeared slightly frantic, and motioned for me to come quickly. He put some surgical gloves on me, told me not get any blood on myself, and asked me to give him a hand moving a badly wounded Iraqi civilian from his gurney to a bed nearby. The wounded man’s leg resembled the twisted truck of an old tree. His head trauma was so severe (there’s no delicate way of putting this) that a good deal of its contents had spilled out onto the gurney. We slowly moved the man together, watching him expire.
The moment, as always, was interrupted by the sounds of helicopter rotors overhead. More wounded were coming in. White rushed back inside. The entire experience lasted no more than three minutes. Running back up those stairs, I wondered how White and others could deal with the sheer volume of these experiences. I felt a bit like a tourist. If a single three minute experience could take such hold of me, what does a year feel like here? White works 12 hours a day, six days a week, for 12 months straight. "When it doesn’t affect you anymore, it’s time to get out of the business," he says. How many dead, dying and severely wounded will he come across in that time and how much can the human mind handle?
The combat hospitals around Iraq deal with a constant stream of severely wounded soldiers, civilians, children. Not the drip, drip, drip of a faulty faucet, but the constant flow of a tap left firmly on. It can seem endless. All the while, these professionals push on. The people we spoke to all seemed to have their own defense mechanisms firmly in place, tailored coping strategies for emotional survival. However, the drastic ups and downs were clear for everyone to see from day-to-day, sometimes hour-to-hour. I can only speak from my limited window of experience, but at times it resembled some sort of a bipolar existence. Moments of deep despair (a mass casualty incident involving 20-year-old Americans or an innocent mangled child) could be followed almost immediately by feelings of exhilaration and hope (the saving of that same child’s life, for instance).
As you watch "Wounds of War" this week, spare a thought for these doctors, nurses, medics and Medevac pilots who day in and day out deal with a seemingly endless flow of wounded, and the roller coaster of emotions that comes with it. It's a white-knuckled ride that few, including those who spend a mere few weeks there, can ever really appreciate.
Above photo by NBC's Craig White.
Editor's note: If you missed part I in our "Wounds of War" series, click here to watch. Correspondent Robert Bazell also wrote today about head wounds in Iraq, the No. 1 injury of the war. Click here to read that.
Read more from Robert Bazell in Iraq
Who's on first?
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Trackbacks are links to weblogs that reference this post. Like comments, trackbacks do not appear until approved by us. The trackback URL for this post is: http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b0aa69e200d834fb10a253ef
When my son got picked to work in the ER at the 28th CSH I commented "that's like being called up to the majors" he replied back "HA! Its like being asked to play on the All Star team!". I think he's right
(Sent May 7, 2007 4:48:17 AM)
How about veterans who came back home paralyzed and need intensive care to recover physically and mentally. For several years I am trying to bring Veterans Hospitals’ attention to the revolutionary “walking standing frame “which enables paralyzed veterans to walk to their recovery. How can we make the Veterans’ administration to listen to us and provide the paralyzed vets with a” walking cure”? See how the device works : www.ablegaitor.com
Marina Grohmann, San Francisco, California (Sent Mar 5, 2007 3:20:04 PM)
Thanks much for your series. You interviewed my son for this...and I know he appreciated your series for giving the public some insight into what the medical people are doing in this war. They work extremely long hours under much stress. Thanks again.
steve shry, Russellville, Arkansas (Sent Mar 5, 2007 12:36:54 PM)
I am a retired medical administrator that spent my last 12 years at the Air Mobility Command Surgeons Office at Scott AFB, Il. My job, along with many other people, was to ensure that our military medical personnel organized, trained and equip to fight the future wars. What I learned in my 20 years in the service and 3 years as a consultant was that it was the magnificent people on the ground that make it all work. We can do our best to plan, but the people at the front fix our mistakes. Thanks for spotlighting these magnificent people performing miracles. Don't loose sight of all the medical lessons that we learn from the pioneers in Bhagdad. There trauma skills will save many more lives long after this war is over as they transition into a civilian surgical practice or teaching university.
John Odle, Litchfield, Illinois (Sent Feb 28, 2007 10:26:14 PM)
I am the proud father of an Army OR Nurse who served in Tikrit, Iraq for 12 mths. She, like all of the other medical staff, are the unsung heros of the war, although you will never get any of them to admit it... just doing what they were trained to do. These great Americans are saving the lives of those who put their lives on the line every day. In one of her first emails she wrote: "Those IEDs are no joke. The day after we had our mass casualty training exercise, we had a true mass casualty situation. It was very sad and unlike anything I have ever seen before. I learned a great deal and I felt the true rewards of my job knowing I was part of saving some of the soldier’s lives... It was crazy. Anyway, I guess that was our first reality of what can come through this Combat Support Hospital." An excellent job reporting by Robert Bazell.
Roy, VA (Sent Feb 28, 2007 7:27:06 PM)
After having served as and ER physician at the same hospital featured during 2004 it is amazing how stories featured there bring me right back to those same emotions. I still don't know how I did that for a year, but I do know even today, doing everyday tasks a face or name will come into my head and I am transported back. It is hard to watch or read anything about Ibn Sina without crying, even today though my greatest moments as a physician occurred there. I wish it was better now then when I left but it appears sadly the same.
Kim Wenner, San Antonio, TX (Sent Feb 28, 2007 12:12:09 PM)
Do you realize we have put over $300 billion into this war- which basically means we have put that money into destruction and great harm to our own soldiers, not to mention the thousands of innocent Iraqis. Why don't we put the $19 billion annually needed to end world hunger by 2015 instead (Millennium development Goals). Our money going toward something which eliminates suffering- is that too much to ask???
katieL, Seattle, WA (Sent Feb 28, 2007 11:33:56 AM)
Thank you for showing what happens in the ER.....alot of people think that the work is easy...but it's not....my husband is there in the Baghdad ER being the NCOIC...so you know how stressfull this can be....it's not only physical but also emotionally and mentally demanding. I really appreciate you highlighting what they do because i really admire them alot....thanks
Trelease Hartfield, Fort Bragg, NC (Sent Feb 28, 2007 9:24:07 AM)
My daughter (01:38 into the first night's segment) is one of those medics you showed at work in Tikrit at Camp Speicher (misspelled in your caption) and tells us of the number of civilians and military personnel who come through the ER. It is a very tough job she is doing and she has had some nightmarish experiences. But I am glad, also as a former Army medic myself, that their story is told. The seeming endless days of casualties that roll into the ER take a mental toll and I can only imagine what long lasting effects will come back to the States with these medical corps heroes. Thanks for remembering all of these dedicated doctors, nurses, and medics.
Craig Whitmore, Ashland, Ohio (Sent Feb 27, 2007 9:47:29 PM)
Thank you for your coverage of our soliders. On January 23rd, you showed coverage of a Baghdad hospital and one of the soilders that came in that night happened to be our nephew. He is home and is going through PT. He has a long road ahead of him. It is hard to watch at times but unfortunately is reality of what our men and women are doing everyday!!! I'm glad your crew is home safe.
Shelley, Gowen MI (Sent Feb 27, 2007 9:44:22 PM)
MY HUSBAND WAS IN VIETNAM.WE FOUGHT FOR 5 YEARS FOR HIS KIDNEYS(WHILE IN VIETNAM).HE HAS HAD UP TO 25 SURGERY'S ON THEM-NONE PAID FOR BY V.A. UNTIL 4 YEARS AGO.WE ALSO FOUGHT FOR HIS DEAFNESS.DID NO GOOD UNTIL PTSD CAME WITH RUSSIAN ROULETTE AND SEVERE CUTTING ON HIMSELF.THEN CAME MENTALHEALTHLOCKDOWN AT V.A.AND A DIAGNOSIS OF PTSD.HE WENT THROUGH A PTSD CLINIC IN HOUSE AT V.A.AFTER 5 WEEKS IN MENTAL HEALTH LOCKDOWN.THEN HE FINALLY GOT DISABILITY.IT MAKES ME MAD BECAUSE HIS HEALTH WASN'T BAD ENOUGH TO THEM,BUT HIS MENTAL HEALTH WAS.AND TO ME THEY TREAT HIM VERY BAD EXCEPT FOR HIS PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR.THEY TALK TO US LIKE WE ARE NOBODY'S.I AM SO PROUD OF HIM FOR BEING A VETERAN-WHY CAN'T THEY ACT LIKE THEY CARE TOO?
KAY SMITH SAN MANUEL,ARIZONA (Sent Feb 27, 2007 7:52:19 PM)
The quantity of wounded is understated grossly. My wife among other roles in administration was a volunteer first responder to receive the wounded GI's at Fort Hood, Texas. The numbers of wounded was always much less than reported by DOD. The extent of the injuries was quite severe.
As a combat vet from the Vietnam War, I met the staff from the hospital commander down to the E-3's and E-4's. I was impressed with their dedication. However, almost to a soldier they are tired and disgusted with the continuing meat grinder that the war has become. Unlike Vietnam, this is unfortunately and equal opportunity war with relatively large numbers of female soldiers along with their male counterparts being discharged with severe permanent physical and mental injuries.
In closing now that they will go to the VA, the government should increase the funding to match the increased patient load.
Jim, Sulphur, LA (Sent Feb 27, 2007 7:50:01 PM)
When people pull together to save lives differences are put aside. These doctors and nurses perform miracles everyday. I can't imagine what it must be like in that hospital, but when someone is saved and moves on to a good recovery that is priceless. Mankind can save lives and make hope and peace possible. These medical personnel are heaven sent. Peace to all!
Lisa McNeil,Alpharetta, Georgia (Sent Feb 27, 2007 7:35:30 PM)
My first comment has to do with this blog. There's 'The Story', and then there are comments. There doesn't seem to be a place where one can ask questions and get a reply.
Keep in mind, I have no political agenda with the following questions. They're just what popped into my head after watching the first installment last night.
Now the questions:
Five years, ten years, a generation from now, will the Iraqis we saved (sans extremeties) love us or hate us?
Our service members deserve the very best. Is it like what your crew depicted in other units in Iraq? In Afghanistan? Does your report portray the Building 57s while ignoring the building 18s?
Like nursing home and assisted living the last two weeks, when dealing with the armed forces, the motto should be 'Trust. But verify.'
A.C. Mendiones, San Jose, California (Sent Feb 27, 2007 4:52:50 PM)
As a civilian working here in Iraq, I had occasion to meet the little girl so badly injured. Her story is, I hope, still to be told, as many people across all spectrums - heroic soldiers in the street, the press, US medical personnel, private contractors, two US embassies and the Department of Homeland Security, non-governmental organizations, an Italian hospital in Jordan, a charitable foundation in America, and Muslim and Christian people in America have all come together overnight to save this one child. She is now in California receiving the best care that can be given, and her story is one of hope carved from tragedy. When the American and Iraqi people move heaven and earth to save one child, perhaps it is an example what Iraq and America could be together still...
Dan McFerrin (Sent Feb 27, 2007 4:39:56 PM)
The doctors and nurses in a military combat hospitals are the closest we will ever get to having a god walk the Earth. I can't say enough for their dedication and service, under fire. It takes a special person to do the job that they do. Underpaid as compared to their civilan counterparts.
Jesse M, Seattle, WA (Sent Feb 27, 2007 3:57:46 PM)
Unfortunatly that is war. US medical services are the best in the world. Survival rates are the highes of any war that has ever been fought. Imagine what you would have seen if you had been in the field hospitals at the First Battle of Bull Run or for the Normandy Invasion.
Everybody would much prefer if we were fighting an organized army on a battlefield instead of a city.
Jeff Frisco, TX (Sent Feb 27, 2007 3:55:07 PM)
As an OIF veteran and mother of two, I can't help but shed a tear everytime I see what all of the medical people go through in order to help get us all home to our families. It is truely inspiring to see and helps me to hope that our work there in not in vain. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of them and I will continue to think of all of my fellow service members in this difficult time.
Cassandra France (Sent Feb 27, 2007 3:50:48 PM)
The medical community deserves effusive praise for the miracles they work every single day in Iraq and elsewhere supporting the war effort. Thanks to their efforts, many families, American and Iraqi, welcome their living relatives home rather than a pine box.
Andrew R, Dayton, OH (Sent Feb 27, 2007 3:19:14 PM)
that was some excellent journalism
i can only imagine what it is like
taping a living person back together
only to watch him die
Vincent Pardi Michigan (Sent Feb 27, 2007 2:56:56 PM)
Thank you for showing another side of the war not often covered by the media. I have a close friend serving in Iraq as a nurse. I often wonder of her experiences.
Lindsay Olson, MN (Sent Feb 27, 2007 2:30:14 PM)
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