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The Daily Nightly began on May 31, 2005. As Brian wrote in his first post it aims to provide a narrative of the broadcast day and a window into the editorial process at NBC Nightly News. Brian weighs in every weekday and NBC News correspondents and producers post regularly.

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'Trading Places': Dr. Nancy Snyderman

I left home for college in 1970, always knowing that I would never move back to Fort Wayne, Ind. I visit often and have kept in touch with most of my high school friends. It is the place where I expected my parents to grow old and die. But one thing I hadn't considered was that my parents would outlive all their friends, and with their four adult children scattered across the country, Fort Wayne grew foreign to them.

Their decision to move to Princeton, N.J., where my husband Doug and I are raising our family, was somewhat quick. As the eldest child, a lot of the family coordinating has fallen to me over the years. Both my brother and I are doctors and the inevitable planning for our parents' health care will be our responsibility. Yet having Mom and Dad in my town means that the day-to-day coordination has already begun. I have scouted out the right cardiologist, gynecologist, ophthalmologist, internist. I have thought about the hospitals. I am on staff at the University of Pennsylvania. Is that where they should go if something horrible happens? Or should I rely on my friends who are cardiologists at Columbia University in New York? What can I handle on my own? And when will I need the help of my own expert network?

And no conversation about such sudden proximity can be truthfully had without the recognition of boundaries. Mom and Dad will be less than 10 minutes away from us. I am thrilled by thoughts of family dinners and shared football games. I can hardly wait to have them see Charlie's school performances and wish Rachel well as she heads off to college.  At the same time, our homes have front doors and telephones. They may be the most literal examples of boundaries, but they are metaphors in the larger context. They are meant to be used... both ways.

So, as it has always been in our family, we talk about these things. And by talking, this transition, at this time, may be one of the best gifts ever given to me.

Read more from Nancy Snyderman

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COMMENTS

Caregiving began at an early age in my family. My
mom, who became chronically ill, with 6 children,
taught us the meaning of compassion, tolerance, and
loyalty. My Dad, taught us the meaning of devotion
and dedication. With constant setbacks, and numerous
"close calls", the stress of my mom's health took its
toll on my Dad. He suffered a massive stroke on the
night of the millennium. It was yet another holiday
in the hospital. But there were many new lessons to
learn, first and foremost, that sometimes
"independence" is disguised in the help of strangers.
Our parents now needed a staff of professional
caregivers, and it was with highly mixed emotions that
both were about to find a new life in a nursing home.

Now, seven years later, my mom has since passed away,
and my dad has found an amazing life of independence
in the same nursing home. He is still in the same
room where he and my mother shared their final 8
months together. He is happy, he is safe. Together
with my sister, I maintain a constant presence in his
life. Our brothers are a bit less able, but there is
never a week that goes by where Dad does not have
several visitors. The best gift is observing him when
he is unaware-and we see he is loved and happy.
Through all of this, along with my own family and job,
I have a new passion. In my third year of publishing,
I have created a unique Caregiver Magazine titled
Families of Loved Ones. I found that in my search for
information, there was a lack of positive direction.
I aim to provide that in this publication. It is
free, and can be found at www.familiesoflovedones.com.

Thank you for presenting your series. You are bearing
witness to what I have been saying for years.
Caregiving will affect everyone at some point in time.
Making this topic part of the national discussion is
essential. Learning about options when difficulties
arise is difficult. We prepare for every other aspect
of life, childbirth through marriage, how and why
would this be ignored?

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