So, what’s with the congressional message that it’s a needless war but our troops are doing one heck of a job? Seems to me that the 800-lbs gorilla in the room really is that they are dying needlessly. Either they need way more help than they are getting(as in 500,000 additional troops) to secure Iraq properly or they need to be brought home and out of harm’s way altogether. If these vote-getting politicians really did want to support our troops, they wouldn’t make them buy their own body armor, send them patrolling bullet-ridden streets in soft-skinned Humvees, and they certainly wouldn’t cut VA care and funding. This endless clamor to be seen as “supporting one’s troops” also doesn’t hold up when you leave the criminals who started it with falsified evidence in charge.

P.S. This is just a stab in the dark, but could there be a proxy war going on between Iran and Saudi-Arabia right now? They definitely seem to be determined to sway the outcome in Iraq in their favor.

My husband was laid-off from his teaching position at the same time both of my 86 year old parents needed help. My family members help us financially while we struggle to keep going. I work in the laboratory at the VA and coordinate my Dad's health care. He is a WW II vet and has lived through alot. Neither parent qualify for assisted-living or nursing home care because they can bathe and dress themselves. Never mind that they weren't able to prepare a meal or remember to take their medications. The stress of living alone in their own home and illness was too much to bear. They are both very proud and did not want to ask for any help. We love having them with us and are successful because all our family pulled together.

Brian Williams and NBC Nightly News Team,
I want to tell you how much I appreciate the programs you've aired that include Americans talking about their Christian faith. Over the last few months, I was impressed and encouraged that you included such statements from people like the brother (Bible seminary professor I think) of the man who died while mountain climbing in the snow, talking about his brother's faith in God no matter how things turned out; then a man working with those with addictions in a rehab program in South America (Brazil I think) who attirbuted the success of the program to the Bible reading and emphasis on personal faith in Christ, and the testimony from former President Ford, as well as the funeral message of the Christian preacher, praying in the name of Jesus Christ; the preacher from New Orleans, as well as a Christian woman refugee (nun I think) expressing their faith in God while still homeless after Katrina; and recently the program on caring for aging parents that included the WONDERFUL example of the Black woman from Alabama, who though in the midst of much hardship and meager finances, was caring for her mother at home, while beginning each day with the Lord through reading her Bible and tithing to her church as well!
(Thought not as specific, the portion yesterday about those apologizing was also a good Biblical principle to highlight the way you did.)
By the way, I'm speaking for many others who have shared the same responses,but probably won't get around to writing.
I'm sure it takes a certain amount of courage to air testimonies of faith in Christ like that, but many of us are tremendously inspired and enouraged by it! Best of all Jesus Christ Himself, Lord and King of the universe, and before whom we all one day will give account, is glorified by it.

In general the reports about "making a difference" are a wonderful way to lighlight, in the midst of a fallen and hurting world, the GOOD things that God is doing in our country (and world) through various people made in His image.
Thank you so much!

JB
(U.S. citizen living in Japan)

i thought thiss was one of the greatest broadcast ever in tv news. the elderly are what is holding this nation together. they spend everything they have for care and for their children and give back so much of their lives to us, i only hope that the baby boomers like myself see life and god the same way. my parents story is so long and so loving. they are 80 and doing fine on their own and give back everyday while working at local food pantry 6 hrs. my dad was a factory worker, a minister, and a teacher. hes been in politics, as far back as melvin lairds election to office in wisconsin. he has taught me the value of life. the most important one . the world owes you nothing you owe it all to the world. work hard and look for the good in all things everyday. thanks steve

thank you so much for the recent coverage of trading places. my sister, brother and I are currently taking turns living with and physicaly caring for our aging mom. It is a pleasure to share her last few months with her. we find she has given us the gift of allowing us to help her in these last few months and we all three feel it is an honor to be a part of her life and her death. thank you for letting us know this isn't an uncommon event and we are not alone in our struggle to provide quality care for our loved one.

Thank you, Brian, and the NBC staff who decided to do this series.

Caring for our parents is a priveledge. I'm not saying it's not challenging. I know it is, but I also know that the passing on of our elders stories and wisdom is something of great value.

Whether you have the ability to care for your parents in your home, or with assistance in their home, or a care facility is an individual decision based on your own personal circumstances of what is best for everyone involved. But the fact that our parents are living longer and that we, their children and/or other loved ones must "step up" and participate in their care has now reached epidemic proportions. Our parents need us, and we need them.

My mother lived with my husband and I and our three teenage daughters for the last almost three years of her life. It wasn't easy physically or financially. My mother thought she had saved enough money, and that she had enough insurance when in reality it wasn't nearly enough for the staggering costs of elder-care.

At times, I felt that I couldn't give anyone enough--not my husband, not my children or my mother, and there certainly wasn't any time left for me. I journaled every day. I wrote about how scared I was, how frustrating it was to watch my mother's health slowly decline, and how I wondered if I could physically stand up to the task.

I wrote about what it's like to mother my mother, what it did to my soul, how I perceived myself, what I had learned about my mother and me and how very fragile and resilient faith really is. It's become a book, Mothering Mother, April 1 release by Kunati Books. And what I desire more than anything is that by revelaing my fears, my inadequecies, my frustrations--and also what I learned about hope and life--and that it will inspire others.
We stuck together...because that's what families do.

As the primary caregiver for my Mother for almost 20 years...I was glad to see this segment. I am glad LTC was addressed.....Mom had a LTC policy and it was so helpful. I cannot stres how important LTC insurance is...unfortunately....I recently lost the LTC policy I had been paying on for 15 yrs...as could not pay the premium (still trying to recover from the 2004 hurricanes...have moved from 'dirt poor' to 'destitute poor' and if I dont sell my furniture..will not be able to pay March rent or remainder of Feb bills. I helped Mom with Dad his last couple years and then her for almost 20 years....tough BUT so heartwarming also.

Take a stroll thru my site (which has some problems) and you will see how important the elder generation is to me. www.proorganizer.com
Love them dearly! Want to get my site "fixed" so that I can get back to helping folks in my age bracket so they can help their loved one(s) even more.

Brian,
I wrote you earlier today because I was infuriated that our country has fallen so low that our most precious resources, our children and our elderly are now not only not revered, love and protected but have become targets. How can we boast of being a super power or boast of what a wonderful country that we live in; when we have so little concern and help for the most vulnerable and valuable among us? It is bad enough that we have so many Americans without health care but that even with Medicare, our elderly are treated so poorly is unconscionable. You are right that the members of your news team and those members of the elite that have no financial concerns can make sure that their parents are well cared for, but at four thousand dollars a month plus, how many American do you even guesstimate can afford to care for their loved ones in this manner? I must add that I am a home health care nurse in South Florida and what I have seen could fill at least ten Stephen King novels and some of it would even frighten the master of the macabre himself. You would think that all of the poor care and treatment that I have seen comes from the deprived and the disenfranchised. Wrong. Even your wealth does not make your parents immune to poor care, mistreatment and abuse. The only way you can be sure is to be there yourself. Some of your most charming caregivers can be sheep in wolf’s clothing and your parents either would be too afraid to tell you the truth or too confused to even realize it. I don’t want to scare anyone because the majority of the caregivers providing care are wonderful people, but there are some bad apples in the bunch. With the lack of respect, the inadequate pay and the barbaric work schedules, that some of these caregivers have to deal with, it is not inexplicable that some may behave badly. I am pleased that you are shining the spotlight on a serious problem that eventually will affect us all. I hope that your show will motivate our politicians and maybe even some of the more popular celebrities to take on this cause, like Oprah. She has been very successful in the past in motivating people to do the right thing. Who is more deserving than our elderly. After all what we are really talking about when we say the elderly is our mothers, fathers, grandparents and if we are blessed to live long enough ourselves.

Leona L. Brock
Loxahatchee, FL

I recently gave up a life that I loved, divided between New York and California, to move back to the Midwest to look after my 98-year-old mother. I left here 40 years ago, three days out of high school, and swore I would never be back. But my mother insisted all her life that she'd rather we shoot her than put her in an "old-age home" (and I'm sorry to admit that some days that sounds like a pretty good option to me), so here I am.

Like many of the NBC folks, my mother is fortunate in being able to afford help, but she cannot and will not admit that she needs it. So we were left with no other option than my coming to stay with her. She often thanks me for "visiting," but assures me that I can leave at any time, that she can take care of herself. I feel so trapped that some days I think my head is going to explode.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. When I began telling friends that I was going to do this, I remember a lot of them shuffling nervously and staring off into the distance, and I knew that they had faced the same decision and had made a different choice. But then I started to get a different reaction. One woman said to me, "I did that for my mother, and I'm telling my kids, when my time comes you put me away somewhere right away! Do not give up your life for me!"

If I had kids, I would tell them the same. And if she had her full wits about her, I know my mother, who spent her life opening doors for me, would be horrified to know how many she just closed. I'm sorry; this sounds terribly selfish of me, but it's been a rough day.

While it is somewhat interesting reading how some of the NBC staff "care" for their parents, this sampling of information does not reflect reality for the rest of us. My mother entered the nursing home and was reduced to an income of $40 per month. I couldn't afford to hire sitters or place her in an assisted living facility. What a wonderful blessing if an adult child can pay for care such as this! However, why not report on actual reality?

Dear Mr. Williams,

We were very interested in your "Trading Places" report about families caring for their parents. We think that is a great topic to bring out especially as the population continues to age. We have read many of the reponses sent to you regarding this family and health care dilemma, and a frequent problem that seems to arise is the financial struggle for families regarding the rising costs of health care and more specifically, elderly home care. Many patients rely on their own family or on the Assisted Living facilities to transport them to and from the physicians' offices in order to maintain their health. Unfortunately, with the higher costs of fuel, the families inability to take off from work, and higher liability costs for the facilities, many patients are slowly losing the ability to access any traditional health care. We wanted to bring to your attention a relatively new form of health care delivery. There are now many physicians that actually perform home or house visits for rising number of elderly patients that find it almiost impossible to visit their doctor at his/her office. One group (Naples Health Care Associates, Mobile Physician Division) in particular is based out of Naples, Florida and has been providing outstanding health care to many patients that live in Assisted Living facilities or at their provate homes. They now cover Naples, Fort Myers, and recently began servicing Sarasota. This practice is able to bring to the patient,otherwise unable to access medical care independently,all the usual amenities of a traditional medical practice with the addition of home care services like nursing care, physical therapy, and even mental health care ! Additionally, all laboratory and X-ray service can be brought to the patients' own home or residence if needed. The wonderul thing about this service is that Medicare covers these services just as they would for patients accessing health care at their local doctor's office. They practice something called "restorative home care." The idea seems to be to keep the patient independent and healthier longer, along with decreasing ER visits, hospital stays, and frequent doctor visits. They also regularly give educational discussions at many of the facilities about different medical issues and the turnouts are amazing. According to many of the patients, this has been the best health care they have ever receieved and feel very fortunate to be a part of it. We hope more people around the country have a simiar resource to help alleviate many of the difficulties in caring for an ailing parent. We hope this helps educate anyone in need of the "house call" physician. Amazing, how we have returned to the original way medicine was practiced.

Instead of criticizing the NBC staff who so generously shared their families' stories with us, why not thank them for doing so? Caregiving is a national issue whose time has come and it must be reckoned with. It is estimated that if the system of family-provided care for the elderly were no longer available, the publicly-funded system of supportive services would collapse in about two weeks. The value of family caregivers, regardless of their socio-economic status, cannot be over-estimated. But, I digress.

Granted, the NBC families appear to be of better than moderate means, but the emotional price one pays when one's parents are suffering bereavement or become dependent for care is incalculable.

I equally appreciated this evening's segment about the Birmingham family's challenges with multi-generational caregiving and economic issues. The dynamics of family caregiving are complex and there are no one-size-fits-all scenarios or solutions. But one thing is clear: as people age, they want choices and they want to remain in their homes and communities. Families make that possible, regardless of their stations in life.

I'm grateful for the NBC families' care and concern for their loved ones...the series has added "texture" to my perception of people whom I "know" from a distance. Thank you.

Brian,

I have been reading some of the messages. First of all, again we say thank you for ths segement Trading Places. Our story of caring for parents was posted earler today. I must say that our parents were comfortable, but certainly not wealthy. We have been very fortunate that the bread winners in our family are college graduates and have held white collar jobs. That being said, we still had to be frugal. When our parent's medications started to become so expensive that it was beginning to affect their pocket book we went to work on the internet and on the phone and were able to find some pharmaceutical companys who would provide some medications free of charge. This was usually based on the income of the senior, but we were surprised that our parents were able to get some of their meds free. There are also programs in some if not all states that allow seniors to get discounts on their meds. Sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves, forget about the family members that choose not to be involved and get on with it. I think that good old American ingenuity allows us to dig in our heels and get the job done. It takes time and persistance, but there answers out there for us. There are also ways to get folks into long term care facilities. I do agree though that there is certainly more that the states and the federal government could do to help our seniors out.

Thank you so much for your coverage on caring for parents. The reality is that it involves not only our elderly parents but others such as spouses with medical conditions. I have a father that soon will be 85 years and lives in another town next door to my brother. Presently, he is able to care for himself but I often think about his future. I am caregiver to my husband (69 yrs.)diagnosed with Altzheimer along with other medical problems. Please consider doing a piece on where caregivers can turn for help. My husband is covered by Medicare but I'm not old enough. Our income bracket does not allow us for free assistance and I can't afford to pay the high $$$$ costs for services. It's unfortunate our government does not have more to help.

Brian,

While I agree with Dick Paoliello, Xenia, Ohio, that the government can do more, I commend all of you and especially your parents, who gave up their privacy to be filmed in their environment, "warts and all" as they say. We all like our privacy, but our parents covet their privacy and independence, as you have highlighted in these stories.

I have worked in health care (including developing doctors offices, surgery centers, Home Care and Assisted Living programs), my entire career. I had an interesting conversation with a physician from London a few months back at a conference. We were comparing and contrasting healthcare (public) in the U.K. with healthcare in the U.S. Historically, the U.K. has dealt very well with providing long term care for the elderly and those with chronic disease, with public dollars - for centuries. He felt the U.K. falls down in the area of ambulatory care, citing a 1.5 year wait for an "elective" knee arthroscopy (scope). He felt the U.S. does a better job with hospital and surgical care, but falls short in the long term care issue. We pondered how nice it would be if we (U.K. and U.S.) could get together and help each other out in the quest for improving care. We do neglect our elderly in this country, unless someone takes the time to care. Many elderly have no family left. The other day NBC Channel 12 News in Phoenix reported on an invalid gentleman who's wife collapsed and died right in front of him, in their home. He was not able to call for help. The neigbors called the police when they saw the newspaper still in the driveway, but they saw nothing amiss (windows/doors) and left. The neighbors told the cable repairman of their concern, and he took it upon himself to go into the home through an unlocked door. The invalid man was dehydrated and obviously distraught after spending 1-2 days with the body of his wife, unable to do anything. She was supposed to be HIS caregiver!

The government limits severely the dollars that can be spent on nursing homes and home health care is only available under long term care insurance (private) or if the patient has a medical condition that falls under the list of qualifications by Medicare/Medicaid. Those like most of our parents, who just live alone, have no major medical issues but are in need of some assistance or supervision, fall through the cracks.

I believe there are many options out there, I have a company that provides one of those solutions. We all could do more, including and especially watching out for our neighbors or volunteering for Meals on Wheels, (delivering meals to elderly in their homes) or at the local senior center.

Thank you for the story. Maybe we can put that panel together and figure this thing out!

I was my folks care-giver for 6 years--3 part-time/3 full-time (24 X 7). They had resources to make it do-able but what we didn't get was support. Not from the church, not from life-time friends, not from siblings, not from trusted legal or financial advisors.

In the end a brother and a sister sued me as care-giver and took almost everything I had--primarily because our attorney failed to advise any of us of the legal risks we faced. They ran up legal bills in excess of $250,000 and my folks attorney (of 35 years)lied, cheated nad even stole over $150,000.

There is another story about how care-givers need support, advice and protection from the greedy relatives and "professional" advisor's who are ONLY interested in their fee's.

I learned more about my folks and myself during those six years and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Next time I will make sure we all have independent, honest lawyers (if there is such a thing) and advisor's.

I hope you consider this other side of this American tragedy.

I really am happy to see more people take care of their parents. My sister and I tried to do everything we could for our grandmother who was a wonderful lady. She lived with the both of us and we never gave it a second thought. When we get together we can remember so much about her.

BRIAN-I have watched every evening since you took over from Tom who I watched for decades.Regarding -Trading Places-only in your aftermath do you mention the contrast to the hard life of us without all us who have to worry daily what we will do with only Medicare and social security! This is your worst reprt in consideration of presentationm consideration, not content!This has made me so mad that I am writing and considering switching to Katie!

Brian, thanks so much for the series on caring for parents. I've watched a couple with my mom--my best friend.

Brian, Here's more aftermath, and comment, which I wanted to duplicate here!

When I saw the first in a series of your "Trading Spaces", I thought it would be interesting and informative. What I have seen however is a bunch of the "Rich and Famous" TV personalities "showing off" the easy living and swinging lifestyles of their surviving parents ( no offence Ann )..And in Brian's case, who admitted to being fortunate enough to be able to afford to help....

Now that I look back on the week, my comment is...What a farce!

Brian, what about the 99.9% of those not so rich and famous who are dealing with parents facing bankruptcy, losing their homes, the escalating cost of living, high property taxes, increased utility billings, high medical costs, higher food costs. The list of unique problems is endless, and is as variable, and as complex a list as you could find anywhere.

The government at all levels could be part of the solution, instead, the ever persistent tax collectors are ready to take their homes. The greed of the insurance companies and hospitals are draining the life blood of our seniors, the drug companies are convincing more and more that they have diseases or conditions, or syndromes that they don't have, or that don't exist.

What the elderly in this country need is care and compassion. The kind that doesn't come with a price tag, or a future obligation.

Please, let our elderly live and die in peace, and without obligation..

Maybe your next series of reports can be based on how to help the ones that truly need help, and told in a way so as to increase the compassion, and sensitivity of our government officials, and big business.

Our elderly need more than a check. They need a change in how we treat our increasing population of retired and financially venerable Americans.

The children of many of the elderly are approaching retirement age themselves, and can't bear the burden any longer. Are we to bankrupt us Boomers, along with our parents, and then not be in a position to help our children, which is a concern as well.

Hey President Bush, Hey Congress, Hey Drug and Insurance company Moguls. Hey Doctors and Hospital administrators. Hey monolopy utilities, and all the other Cha-Ching type companies. Give me a break, give my parents a break, give us all a break, and get to work to solve the social and economic problems that have many of us stressed beyond our ability to cope? And please, no drug based solutions!

Stress and Depression brought on by taxing government and corporate greed, should not be an everyday part of an elderly persons life in America..

I think you need to report on the Middle class elderly. On the Children who cannot afford the Private care or the assisted living facilities and the problems and struggles that occur. In the Not so happy households when my Dad complained because we were wanting to buy him new pants (His were 3 sizes too big and would fall when he was on the walker but hey they were his) or when the nursing home calls because your dad falls or trying to take care of BOTH mom and dad because your sister won't help or having to make the decision of a feeding tube or starvation..or when your Mom cries for a Year because she has never been by herself and Dad was the supporter and did everything for her.

I am surprised that negative comments, anonymous or not, made it though your screeners. I have made many negative comments that do not make the site and all of my positive comments make the site. Strange how that works?...

I think you need to report on the Middle class elderly. On the Children who cannot afford the Private care or the assisted living facilities and the problems and struggles that occur. In the Not so happy households when my Dad complained because we were wanting to buy him new pants (His were 3 sizes too big and would fall when he was on the walker but hey they were his) or when the nursing home calls because your dad falls or trying to take care of BOTH mom and dad because your sister won't help or having to make the decision of a feeding tube or starvation..or when your Mom cries for a Year because she has never been by herself and Dad was the supporter and did everything for her.

Thanks for your coverage of trading places. It is nice to see the "real side" of the many people that work at NBC and see that they struggle with everyday issues just like we, your viewers do.